Let Go and Let God

When we are seeking God’s comfort, love, protection, healing, hope and reassurance, we also need to remember that sometimes we need to let certain things go.

We can ask God for peace, but at the same time, we have to be willing to release the hurt, betrayal, anger and bitterness we continue carrying with us.

Sometimes healing requires surrender.

Growing up, I always felt the need to avenge myself.

If someone hurt me, spoke negatively about me, created rumours or even hurt someone I loved, I felt like I had to defend myself or them. I would lash out, send long messages, scream, argue and try to prove my side of the story.

Something inside me would see red.

I thought defending myself would make me feel better. I thought if I could make someone understand what they had done, prove them wrong or get even, somehow I would find peace.

But I never did.

The older I got, the more I realised I didn’t want to live like that anymore.

I wanted peace.

Eventually, I realised peace wasn’t going to come from winning every argument, defending myself to everyone or correcting every person who misunderstood me.

Sometimes, peace came through silence.

There are a lot of things that have been said and done behind my back that I know about. Sometimes people may think I’m oblivious to what has been said, what has been done or the truth behind certain situations.

But I’m not.

I’ve simply reached a point where I don’t feel the need to react to everything I know.

The old me would have confronted it. I would have sent the message, demanded answers and made sure my side was heard.

But I’m learning that just because I know something doesn’t mean I have to respond to it.

Sometimes God allows us to see things not so we can retaliate, but so we can learn, grow and recognise when it’s time to walk away.

I believe God is building a new story for my life, and I don’t want to keep carrying old anger, old hurt and old battles into the place He is leading me.

So sometimes I choose to say nothing.

I choose to walk away.

I choose to let it be.

Not because I don’t know what’s happening. Not because I’m oblivious. And not because I don’t care.

I choose silence because protecting the peace God is creating within me has become more important than proving a point.

Some things don’t need revenge. They need surrender.

I don’t have to prove my character to everyone.

I can let go and let God.

Romans 12:18–19 says:

“If possible, as far as it depends on you, be peaceable with all men. Do not avenge yourselves, beloved, but yield place to the wrath; for it is written: ‘Vengeance is mine; I will repay,’ says my Lord.”

When I read this, it made me think differently about the way I reacted to people who hurt me.

God wasn’t asking me to pretend that what happened didn’t hurt.

He wasn’t telling me that people’s actions were okay.

He was teaching me not to allow someone else’s actions to determine what happened inside my heart.

Revenge can lead to anger, bitterness, rebellion and sinful behaviour. When we continue feeding our hurt, that hurt can slowly turn into anger. And anger can make us react in ways that don’t reflect God.

Revenge might feel like justice in the moment, but it doesn’t bring genuine peace.

Sometimes one of the hardest things we can do is remain silent when everything inside us wants to defend our character.

But not every accusation needs an answer.

Not every rumour needs correcting.

Not every battle needs to be fought.

Sometimes we need to surrender the situation to God and trust Him with what happens next.

Forgiveness Doesn’t Mean Allowing Someone to Hurt You

This was another lesson I had to learn.

Forgiveness doesn’t mean that what someone did was okay.

Forgiveness doesn’t mean pretending it never happened.

And forgiveness doesn’t mean that you have to continue having a relationship with someone who repeatedly hurts you.

Sometimes boundaries are necessary.

Forgiveness is about releasing the anger and bitterness we carry so that someone else’s actions don’t continue controlling our hearts.

You can forgive someone and still have boundaries.

You can wish someone well and still walk away.

You can love someone from a distance and still protect your peace.

Forgiveness is not always reconciliation.

Sometimes forgiveness simply means saying:

God, I surrender this to You. I don’t want to carry it anymore.

God asks us to surrender situations to Him and allow Him to deal with what we cannot control.

We cannot control what people say about us.

We cannot control whether somebody misunderstands us.

We cannot control another person’s actions or behaviour.

But we can control how we respond.

Psalm 4:4 says:

“Be agitated, but do not sin. Have your say in your heart, upon your bed, and keep silent.”

We are going to experience anger. We are going to experience hurt. Following God doesn’t mean that nothing will ever upset us.

It’s what we choose to do with that anger that matters.

1 Peter 3:9–11 also reminds us:

“Do not pay back injury for injury or insult for insult. Instead, repay with a blessing, for you were called to this course, so that you might inherit a blessing. For ‘whoever would love life and see good days must guard his tongue from bad and his lips from speaking deception. Let him turn away from what is bad and do what is good; let him seek peace and pursue it.’”

Seek peace and pursue it.

Those words are powerful because peace doesn’t always happen naturally. Sometimes we have to actively choose it.

Choose not to send the message.

Choose not to retaliate.

Choose not to speak badly about someone because they spoke badly about us.

Choose not to continue the argument.

Choose to place boundaries where they’re needed.

Choose to pray.

Choose to surrender.

Choose to let go.

Healing begins when we stop feeling the need to get even.

There will always be things outside of our control. There will always be people who misunderstand us, disappoint us or hurt us.

But we don’t have to allow those things to take away our peace.

Protect your heart. Place boundaries where they’re needed. Forgive so bitterness doesn’t take root inside you.

Then surrender what you cannot control into God’s hands.

You don’t have to fight every battle yourself.

Sometimes you simply need to let go and let God.